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Thursday, September 19, 2013

50 Years Ago

It was the 19th of September 1963 when Abi died.


He was loved immensely by me. Hardly a day has passed when I do not think of him. I think of him when I read a book or even read a great sentence. I think of him when I listen to Eastern Classical Music; Operas; Symphonies; Qavvaalis. I think of him when someone asks for a piece of the shajraa: how quickly he would bring out his Sheaffer's and draw it out on his pad. I think of him every time I wish I should have heard family stories more often from him. I think of him when I hear a great shayr. I think of him each time I open his Ghazals, Nazms, Stories. I even think of him when I joke, often.



It's impossible for me to talk about his day of death.
Far too tortuous.


Here is the poem he read out to me after I arrived
from a long and weary trip at sea the day before he died.

It was written 4 days before his death.


I wish I could write like that.
I try.
But it never works out.

Read the following if you want to know more about my Abi,
our family, and a few old friends.

My paternal family history - 1

Saturday, September 14, 2013

I See You …

I think that's what the lab should be called, instead of ICU :)

There are doctors, specialists, nurses, and several others who wake you up lots of times just to clean your room, ask if you are sleeping, find out how you are, give you injections and drips, and take away whatever you have passed into the tin can below. But I am not complaining.

Two weeks ago it was 11PM and I was sitting at my computer when I felt - just for a second or two - a slight movement of everything around me. I thought it was an earthquake, but it wasn't. It was just a slightly fainting-like spell … so I went to bed early.

The next day I felt weak when I got up, so I ate a hearty breakfast. Came back to work on my computer to alter some pictures. I did this all day. But at 4 different times I felt weak. Checked my sugar. It was slightly high, but no cause for alarm. Took my temperature. Normal. Tried to take my pulse but it was so soft that I couldn't figure it out.

Strange, I thought.

When Nuzhat came back at 7PM I told her and she thought I ought to go the Cardiovascular Institute. Partly because I said I felt like I did at the time of my heart attack years ago. Finally I thought I'd first see Shamim who lives opposite my house. He's a good doctor … but a much better friend.

(Been trying to call him all day but his phone was 'closed'. Found out that it had gone into Airport Mode … though he had no idea how).

Shamim was standing outside his house when Nuzhat went there, so she called me and I followed immediately. We went in and he checked me out and said I was fine (though, much later, he did tell me that my pulse rate was slightly erratic). He suggested that I  go to the NMC (National Medical Centre) … which is only a couple of minutes from my house … and show myself to Dr. Zia Yaqub, my Cardiologist.

The Cardiologist, it turned out, was away on leave so I decided to walk into the Surgeon (Dr. Akhtar Hussain) with my reports. He asked me to get an ECG and when the result arrived he said I should be admitted into the ICU immediately where they would check me, specially since I had had a quadruple heart bypass (October 28th, 2009).

The ECG report said I was suffering from an "Atrial fibrillation with rapid ventricular response and aberrant conduction or ventricular premature complexes and the ECG was Abnormal". Translated, this meant my heart was beating too fast, my pulse was erratic, blood was not rushing to my brain (causing faintness and weakness). The BP was 90/55 and the Pulse Rate was around 52.


I got up to go to the ICU when the Doc said I will be taken up in a wheelchair! Nuzhat rushed to get the admission done and I was taken to the bed upstairs, nabbed here and there, a drip was attached, blood was taken (lots of it!) and an external catheter was put in place.

All night the doctors kept coming in and at 2 AM I was shifted to a private part from this general space and Nuzhat was told that she could go home.

I was there until the next evening and was mainly disturbed by the loud laughter, jokes, gossip, and whatever else the attendants did near my door --- discussing other patients and a death. Yikes!

An Echo Cardiogram was taken and I was OK, according to the Doctor. Dr. Akhtar Hussain came in and was told that I had been well all night so he decided to send me home, telling me that I should come running back if I felt anything. My medicine was added to and a beta-blocker was given.

So far I have no idea if everything is working fine, though I did go to Dr. Cyasp Noshirwani who felt I should continue this medicine until Dr. Zia Yaqub comes here (he's back on the 17th) and show myself to him. Cyasp was glad I had gone to the Doc right then as "otherwise you'd have been zapped. It can be a really dangerous situation".

The additional medicine has lowered my 120/80 BP and 72 Pulse Rate to a 90ish/58ish BP and a 52ish Pulse Rate, making me feel awful if I get up. Cyasp says I should live with this until Zia has seen me … but it's pretty awful. I can't really do anything at all for long periods of time without feeling weak. Orthostatic hypotension gets me feeling even lower.
Going from a sitting or lying position to a standing position often brings out symptoms of low blood pressure. This occurs because standing causes blood to "settle" in the veins of the lower body, and this can lower the blood pressure. If the blood pressure is already low, standing can make the low pressure worse, to the point of causing symptoms. The development of lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting upon standing caused by low blood pressure is called orthostatic hypotension. (Medical Encyclopedia)
But I am 'well', otherwise.

Here's a picture of me in the ICU almost 4 years after my bypass.

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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Which Teenager Wrote These Poems?

Take a guess before you click for the answer …


The answer is here …with another fun piece to read!

Monday, September 09, 2013

M A Jinnah and the Wonders of Pakistan

“You are free; you are free to go to your temples. You are free to go to your mosques or to any other places of worship in this State of Pakistan. You may belong to any religion, caste or creed—that has nothing to do with the business of the State.”

… and we have a fully Islamic Republic now.

"No nation can rise to the height of glory unless your women are side by side with you. We are victims of evil customs. It is a crime against humanity that our women are shut up within the four walls of the houses as prisoners. There is no sanction anywhere for the deplorable condition in which our women have to live.”

… and they still do.

“Do not forget that the armed forces are the servants of the people. You do not make national policy; it is we, the civilians, who decide these issues and it is your duty to carry out these tasks with which you are entrusted.”


With more than half our lives we have been ruled by the army … and half of the other times we have been ruled by the army behind us telling us what to do.

Maulana Shabbir Ahmad Usmani, the man who recited his Janaza Prayers, thought of Jinnah Sahab as a Faasiq (The dictionary shows 4 meanings: a sinner, a worthless fellow, a fornicator, an adulterer).

Usmani hated Shias, too. Jinnah Sahab was a Twelver Shia who had converted from the Khoja Ismaili Sect. However, Usmani  decided to lead the public Sunni prayers for his Janaza.


And, of course, those who want us to move away from Jinnah's words sometimes actually 'forge' them on paper, as you see in the cover of this book

So did he sign this in 1897 or 1997?

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