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Monday, November 05, 2007

The Zookeeper & the Kangaroo - from "A Sap's Fables"

The zookeeper was surprised to see the latest addtion - a kangaroo - standing outside the barbed-wire surrounded space built for him. "Damn!", he thought. "It can scale a 10-foot barrier." So, the barrier was raised another 5 feet that night. The next morning the kangaroo was seen loitering around outside again. "Hmm... raise it to 20 feet," the zookeeper told the contractors, "and put sharp spikes on the top edge." He smiled at the possibility of what those spikes could do: He had always, secretly hated kangaroos because they reminded him of courts for some reason. They worked all night ... but, once again, the kangaroo was found sleeping under the shade of a tree in the nearby garden the next afternoon. Mediapersons, excited by the novelty of it (and short of content, as usual), filmed him, made him pose for shots, and splashed his pictures all over the press, tv, and the internet. (Yes, it's a fairly recent tale.) This made the zookeeper even angrier. "Barnshoot!", said the keeper, whose dad had served in the British Army. He ordered ISPs to block Google. Announcing a state of emergency, he enlisted other contractors to pool in their labour forces. "Raise the wall to 40, no - wait - 50 feet!", he bellowed. They worked all through the weekend while the kangaroo rested in his space, peering at them from under his copy of The Frightening Times, with occasional looks that alternated between 'bemused 'and 'bewildered'. Come Monday, local and foreign reporters all began to gather at a really early hour at the zoo. They were greeted by a smiling kangaroo, chewing upon a gladiola stem. "Wow!", said the mediapersons, in unison. "How high, sir, can you actually jump? And from which Madrassa did you obtain this training?", asked Nudge M. Seth of The Delhi Times. "You don't really believe you can keep fighting the establishment of the zoo forever", chided Ameet Aaron from the Daily Yawn. "You certainly can't be expact to jump ower valls of 100-100 feet?", the lady from Naa Aae Vaqt - whom everyone loved to hate - wanted to know. "Oh,", said the kangaroo, "I really don't give a shit how high the walls these guys build are". Then he winked and added, "As long as they keep leaving the door open."

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11 Comments:

Blogger Sidhusaaheb said...

LOL at Nudge M. Seth and The Daily Yawn...

05 November, 2007 23:47

 
Anonymous ayesha said...

Loved the satire.

06 November, 2007 07:36

 
Blogger jehan said...

Zak, you have truly outdone yourself with this piece.

06 November, 2007 08:50

 
Anonymous the olive ream said...

Sharp fable as it makes the necessary point by pricking one's conscience.

Should be made into a 3-D animated CGI film to be aired on state television!

06 November, 2007 09:32

 
Blogger Vic said...

@the olive ream: in fact someone already has... a blunt object

06 November, 2007 10:50

 
Blogger sabizak said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

06 November, 2007 17:38

 
Blogger kinkminos said...

i enj-wide this vun warry much.

perhaps the kangaroo was following the taabedar philosophy of “when you say jump, i won’t ask why, but how high?”

06 November, 2007 19:16

 
Blogger Shubha said...

Superb Zaheer bhai!

06 November, 2007 23:25

 
Anonymous Global Voices Online said...

"...while Windmills presents a fable that is worthy of publication as an opinion piece in a broadsheet newspaper in Pakistan."

07 November, 2007 13:21

 
Blogger longblackveil said...

Wah-wah! Thanking you for much entertainment.

07 November, 2007 15:16

 
Blogger Vic said...

At least the kangaroo had a purpose!

15 November, 2007 13:12

 

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