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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Having an effair? (PG-13: Kids, stay out!)

Got this ad in my email today, forwarded by someone who actually installed X-SPY in his office in the USA and was advised by his lawyers that he needs to inform his 9 employees about this installation, otherwise he could be sued for all sorts of invasion of privacy cases. (Wonder if this applies to home use, too.)

X-SPY to the rescue! Do you know who your kids chat with whenever they get on to the Internet? Or your spouse's cybersex activities? Or what sites your employees visit on the Net on your time? Even more scary: Are your employees emailing your business secrets to your competitors? Or sending confidential data to their private email addresses for later use? If you do worry about these issues, worry no more. X-SPY (only $69 to download) runs in stealth mode where it is not detected by the user of the computer. It captures everything from chats and instant messages to email, web sites and much more. Some STATS for you: · 85% of WOMEN who feel they have a cheating spouse ARE correct. · 50% of MEN who feel they have a cheating spouse ARE correct. · 70% of MARRIED WOMEN do not know about their spouses' affair. · 54% of MARRIED MEN do not know about their spouses' affair. · 86% of CHILDREN can chat online without their parents' knowledge. · 64% of TEENS do things online they don't want their parents to know about. · 50% of TEENS communicate online with someone they have never met. · 30% of TEENAGED GIRLS are sexually solicited inside a chat room. · 58% of PARENTS monitor what their child does in online chat rooms.
So, if you are the perpetrator of a corporate crime, or are having effairs (as I prefer to call them, since they may not always lead to cybersex), be on the lookout for SpyKiller - a piece of software that's sure to follow, possibly from a sister company of the X-SPY guys - making money both ways off eSuckers. Postscript 1: The person who forwarded the ad had this to say on stats #4 & #5: "... only 30% women know, but 46% of men do. This indicates that men are more tech-savvy and use this software ;-)" ... His wife added a footnote in the email: "Being less tech-savvy also means fewer of us have 'virtual affairs' and go for the real thing, unlike stupid males! Hahaha!" Postscript 2: Had I written the copy for the ad, I'd have used the tongue-in-cheek pricing tab to greater advantage by using this ad headline: 69 keeps you from getting screwed! Piece! Peace!

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Blogger Vic said...

I guess it was only a matter of time before the hardware industry began promoting software that was directly designed to double (well, at least double, in dink families with a spousy pair) device sales.

Fortunately, this is happening at a time when device prices are beginning to finally show a serious downward trend. You don't happen to own shares in Intel, do you?

btw, I am glad that your blog has finally begun to address issues of real concern, such as the future of IT.

05 December, 2007 11:08

Anonymous the olive ream said...

Seems like a handy tool to recall personal, or spy on other people's, perversions and interests.

For a more advanced version of this software, please contact the Pentagon and the NSA as their spyware is so advanced that they can even track your last bowel movement!

What a sad state of the world when invasion of privacy is for sale!

06 December, 2007 00:41

Blogger Vic said...

@ the olive ream said: "What a sad state of the world when invasion of privacy is for sale!"

All these many centuries of human development, invasion of our privacy was a gift we gave our rulers, willingly or otherwise. Now that we are so wonderfully developed that we can sell it for a posset, seems a bit antediluvian to hearken back to the 'olde days'.

btw, as far as the much vaunted (and in the case of this region's internal tensions, very publicly demonstrated) capabilities of the e-snoops goes, remember that with egalitarian access to unilateral transparency, there are perversions that go beyond the magic 69 number (till 666?) that make for amusing revelations.

08 December, 2007 09:04

Anonymous Anonymous said...

zakintosh: i have been following your effair closely and can sell you the data to you in exchange for a little tryst. :D

09 December, 2007 10:52

Anonymous an said...

@ zakintosh: You are either very irresponsible or plain stupid. You know that asking children to stay out will bring them in.

@ anonymous: why do you want his trust?

10 December, 2007 19:18

Blogger Sidhusaaheb said...

If companies trysted...oops...trusted their employees a bit more, they would not only save on the money spent on purchasing, installing and maintaining such software, but also on the man-hours/woman-hours spent by the employees in finding ways to get around it. What a terrible wastage of resources!

Instead, I would recommend setting realistic goals, participatively set (Sorry! Can't seen to avoid the HR-speak... :D ...), so that employees don't have too much time to goof off.

11 December, 2007 01:26

Blogger Sidhusaaheb said...

Oops again...I meant to say that I can't 'seem' to avoid the HR-speak..

11 December, 2007 01:31


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